Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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