Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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