After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
