it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
