he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i out mim tonsoeep
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