I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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