Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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