what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
