Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
