And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
