In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
