5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
