My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
