so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
