jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
