I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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