I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
