whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
