Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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