I want to walk on stilts...naked
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
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