Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
