Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
