I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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