# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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