just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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