just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize