I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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