People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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