Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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