I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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