Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
