She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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