just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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