i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
