I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
