This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Randomize
