Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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