Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize