I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
