i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
