I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
