whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
