the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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