I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
