Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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