We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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