Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
