arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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