Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize