Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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