he thought i was a dude.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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