Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
