Taylor Swift is so right about you.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
barbara walters just said penis...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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