Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
