You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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