take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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