I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
