How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
