Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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