you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
