I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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