5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
