Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
