$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
