I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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