i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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