he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
