the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
