im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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